today. =)

and it was today that I found that it's easy to be yourself again. u just have to find the right person to be with.

I'm gonna miss Callie Tai! She's been my uni friend since last semester and it has been a great pleasure to meet her. God! I miss choir and all that now! damn!

Oh...and I finally have my own internet in my own room in UMSKAL BETA! xDDDD I can update my blog anytime now so yeah...Let's do this yo!

Let's have a picture of the day please? =P

This is me and Callie! Credits to her with this photo and her ipad! =P

CIAO BABES AND GENTS! Till next time! Mandy is here to stay! ^^

Straight on!

I thank God really. He has helped me through so much! Namo Amitofo! Now I realized that my God has it's plans all along! I should trust him in making these decisions next time! I will pray to him and he will guild me through this life! I must trust him!

Thank you so much God! THANK YOU SHI ZHUN!

Worked for mom these few days and is really sick of all the things in the shop! I just wana sleep and partay! However, after going there I realized that actually...I wasted a lot of time! I haven't even studied my language course for God's sake! I have to start ASAP! Like 2ml? yeap! Going to jog or something 2ml la. Better healthy now than never yeah?

Oh! The thing with the maid did not go well! Somehow, I saw Dad being really nice with Mom now. Like he actually cares now! =) He got out of the house and went to grandma's house to have dinner with mom! How grateful of that image planted in my head! =D

So, this goes to show that God loves everyone who sought to him! Pray and he will receive you! We all make choices in life but He is the one that will lead us to the right path! Thank you God for everything! Om Guru Lian Sheng Siti Hom!

Yes. Now I do cherish my buddhist roots. Actually am also proud of it! =)

CIAO! =P

Lies.

Ok....I know I'm playing. Now karma bounce back. Fell for him.

Then after I told him how I feel....halfway...I feel much better! I feel like the weight on my shoulder came off!

I don't love him. I never did! =D

Although it was lies. But I knew there was something there.

Now I know what love is. I knew that I'm close. With each guy I THREW AWAY, I know I'm close! xD

For now, I'll wait. I'll let it go slow. I'll never let anything get in my way. So bye bye playas! =P

I'm beautiful. Thanks for making that happen Mr.China Leto. =)

tears welled up my eyes...

I dragged her to a place so we can talk. She explained everything to me. She speaks so clearly of her part and I had her eyes sore up in tears. I really wanted to comfort her. I knew she cried already, even many more than that. I knew.

He came. You came. Stop track of my heart. Went over and sat with you. You yelled at me. You cared.

She came and sat next to me. Testing time.

You looked at me. You drag my eyes with you. How did you do that? You knew my answer. I wanted to know yours too. Tell me. Please. 

And when you left...

She and me went on and talked. When I realized it was my turn to speak. To speak of you. I. I cried. 

Then now I have nothing. I left no skin. I'm skinless.

Why won't you listen to me? Please listen to me.

I need you. BAD!

WE are...?

Me looking around.

Friend: C'mon...who is it? If that's your friend then go over and say HI and if not, just walk away!

Me: But.......

Friend: BUT WHAT?!!!

Me: I don't know what are we anymore...

Talk That TALK.

I need to talk to you.

"What do you want?"

"You."

"Do what?"

"Talk."

.......................................................................................................................................

i love you.

when you talk to me. i listen to every word u said.
when you speak. i loved your voice.
when you move my hair to the back of my ears. my heart stopped.

when you kiss my forehead. i felt loved.

when you kiss my lips. i felt cared.

when you put your hands on my face and kiss me. i feel secured.

when you put your arms around my waist. my body shook.

when you want to kiss me. i pulled back.

when you start wanting more. i pulled back even more.

when you start demanding more. i loved the fun.

when you kiss my cheek. i wanted to tell you.

when you walk away. that one last time...

when i didn't look back. i wish i did.

when you walk under the rain...

when you wait for me.

when you look at me.

when you lose your game.

when i kiss your cheek.

when i kiss your neck.

when i love the way you smell.

when you close the lights.

when you hug me.

when you touch me.

when you....

when

i

lost

you.

i feel nothing...

i only love you.

i only want you.

i only need you.

i love you.

you love me.

can't you see that?

you love me too?

418

While I lay my head on the table with my arms, he hugged me and put his head on my back. I can't breathe. And when he starts pulling away I can't think. I just really want that hug again...BAD! So I asked...hard to do it since my whole body is shaking. But he knew so he did it anyway.

When he came back from getting his coffee, he just kiss me on my lips. Like omg...my lips were badly scared cuz well....I didn't drink enough water mah~ xD I'm pretty glad he doesn't mind. =)

ok after that all the parts are CENSORED already....cuz it's really...ehem...and btw,that was only my first kiss. xD Don't ask me how did it turn to CENSORED but it was nice to have someone to made out with. 7 times! On which he counted...not me! GOD I lost control already how am I supposed to count all that? xD

I'm glad.Really.That he waited for me. He even surprised me this morning. I told him I'm outside of the hall cuz I was too scared to get in as I was late..AS USUAL.. =P He sent,"Take care of yourself..." So I thought maybe he didn't get what I meant, which was for him to come out and accompany me. But after a few minutes, someone touched my head and I turned around to see that it was Him. I was damn happy la wei! However, he suddenly look panic and turn around. I thought what happened. When I turned left, I saw my friends waving at me and came over to talk to me. He quickly walk away. Cute. The reason he does this is cuz I told him not to say anything about US yet. I'm really glad he remembered and get what I said. Love him loads. =)

And last night was the first night he did not smoke for a long time already. I really like the way he sat and look at me while I catch my breath and then he stroke my hair and touched my face. That part was all love. I finally found someone who loves me more than I love him. God,thank you so much! It was worth the wait really.

It's 6am++ now and I'm still up.Wonder why?Japanese exam lo~Didn't even started learning man!Die la me!Oh well? I'm going back to sleep later anyway. Gotta wake up at 9:30 later... T.T K lar...darling is asleep already. I gotta do so before he found out! =P

All the best for love! <3

CIAO~

It's nice to feel cared.

Oh what a bummer it was! Wanted to go have coffee with a guy but end up him waiting for me because of my assignments. I thought he would never have waited till the end but he did. What a pity he was tired by the time I finished. He turned down my invitation immediately after I asked him again. xD Oh how bad was I? =P

But the reason I felt happy was that he waited. Really. He was there to offer his help and I wanted to treat him back coffee because he bought me dinner last night. =) Felt happy to be cared about at least. =3

Oh!I FINISHED MY ETHICS ASSIGNMENTS!HO YEAH! Gonna go sleep now and get ready for my TITAS later!Felt motivated from it all I guess. I have to check it back again before I submit but oh who cares about the checking! xD

Carrie actually put a thought to my mind. He asked me weather I will be interested to PLAY him for a month. I wish I could but maybe I'm just not that desperate? Still, honestly, no guy has ever treated me that good for so long already. That's a really good feeling to have. Not that I'm complaining about the other guy but he really brings out the good in me. =)

I owe him a coffee and maybe an invitation to a coffee date at 4am is just all you need to get motivated....somehow. =P

Alrite. Time to get back to my tetris! See ya'll when I see ya'll!

CIAO~

Put it down.

I'm sure most people have seen the post on facebook that tells us to put it down when we are holding on something for too long rite?

So now it's time.We have to do our assignments,yes, but when it comes to thing u really have to do like drinking and eating and RESTING!...DO IT! Dun pressure yourself!Sometimes things get done better when you have enough rest. Not too much though. U know wad I mean..hehe...

Okay.I gotta finish my assignments and will finish it in time hopefully!And will do my tutorial and study my japanese! WAHOO! Time management!hehe!Study Skill got help le~ XD

Orite!I gotta go now! Hope ya'll learn something here. Comment if u have any suggestion too ya! ^^

CIAO!

Blessed.

Isn't he like the cutest thing in the world??AIYER!!! He is Rayshawn! =D He's super cute and I can't wait to get back and play with him! =DDDDDD

Somehow, I love the feeling of having something to expect. I can get so pumped up when I have new things to look forward to! Like today's choir really inspired me to express myself in a way. Although I am an ALTO, I'll make the best out of it.hehe...

So lately I've been good lah! Things have happen and we sometimes just have to let it go before it's too late. Conclusion: Don't think so much lah! XD

Assignments and tests are coming real soon! need to get prepared and gear up! =3

All the best in everything!BLESS ME GOD!

And..............Thank you God for everything! =)

CIAO~

What a mess!

Me love Sarawak!

Hey peeps!haven't write for awhile now.yeah...it's been a fun ride!Got to stay in my aunt's house for a couple of days cuz my cousins came over for holiday.It's been dead busy with my school work never ends and misunderstandings of my homework and bla bla bla...assignments are coming! GAHHH!

As a matter of fact,I'm getting chubbier this year and I wish to just slim down for awhile.Not eating a lot at school kinda helps.But the portion they gave is just too much sometimes.If I waste food,I'll be the targeted one later.Ishhh...

Lately,going through some time with seniors and my love life....a turmoil.As usual,hot and cold.Duno what he wants and the most scariest thing is...I don't know what I want!

They say u don't judge a book by it's cover.But he just...well,let's just say if my friends ever see me hanging out with a guy like that,they will die just laughing.Yeah...it's THAT BAD!

Furthermore,sometimes when I "glance" through his pics,all I am thinking was,"What the hell was I thinking?!" Yeah,he gets me,I know.We fought.We tease.We went ballistics over stupid things but I know he likes me.However,like my horoscope says,if I ever get to like someone,I'll get it over very soon.SO...it kinda means that if the guy doesn't do anythg,me=over with it!So yeap...I admit,I AM like that!So the only guy who will never let me get over is if he is a Scorpio...uh-huh...That didn't went well with my ex...ehem...

ok...so habis my chitchat here...

CIAO! ^^

I miss you.

Like always. You are there and I am here. U went back and I'm still here. I almost gave up on you and there u are again. U called me beautiful my dear. That word is not what anyone would just say to me.

Smart.U equal it with the B word. But what meant the most was the way u put Beautiful Mandy into 2 big capital letters and it makes my heart melt! U make time to be with me but I did not do my part in doing so. The night before u typed <3 into my chatbox. What did u meant?

Please dear. These things do not last long...if u want me now u better do so before I let you go. Like I always did. U can take me back anytime but what if I never wanted to come back again? Think dear. Think.

We had a total of 6000 msges together.....

CIAO!

I miss my old blog.

I have put a lot of time into that stupid blog of mine and now whenever i get back to it i miss it...SO BAD!And those things that I reread over will never change becuz that's the real me!no matter hw I grow,there will always be a past. I miss that old friend of mine.Priz,I call her. And all those days were exciting bcuz love was just so blind to me.

And this guy that I adore so much had his hands on this girl already.too bad I guess.What a bad chase! =P

And now I'm here...stuck with my never ending assignments!GAHHHH!!!

ok...low batt!Gotta GO! CIAO!

all about life.

There is some people who just wants to see u fail.They want u to fail so that they can focus on themselves.Have names for themselves.U know what?If u guys really want me to fail so bad...I have no choice.I will try my best to not make u proud.I couldn't care less about what u think.There are people who love me and I don't need you to do this for me.Thank you but no thank you.

God,I know I have been doing many wrong things...But please repent my sins.I have tried everything to make my life better already and it seems that those stress won't stop coming in!Like a virus!I need it to stop!Plz stop pushing me like this!!!This is not even what I want!

I love you God...with every beat of my heart.I am trying to be the better person.I always have.I just scared that one day I'll get really mad and just burst out like crazy!Plz don't make that happen for me plz?

All in all,thank you God for everything.

CIAO! =)

I'm not lucky,just blessed.

Recently,I'm kinda busy.Like of course I am!What the hell did I go uni for right? XD

So everything went sweelllll! XD cept for some moments when I ain't hapi but I try to consider what other ppl think n then i dun feel that bad anymore. =) It's nice to have people surround you sumtimes...but sumtimes...i rather be alone.I duno y...it's just not real to be the other person when u just wana be urself.

and i have been praying...HARD!I hope that all goes well. =)

All is well! =D

okay...gotta go online and get crazy now.. hehe..

CIAO! ^^

and there was spark!

ahaha!I know I know..Maybe I was just being very silly here but there is SPARK!HE CARRIED MY BAG!My heavy heavy bag!HE!Of all people!!!!CARRY IT!And from his eyes when he saw me today I knew he was excited!WOOTS! =D and he even offer to carry my luggage! =D epic epic!tot it was lost but found it back!

even encourage me when I was down with my result...=) hope can see him more often! =)

another one of those crushes... XD

Back at Labuan but not at Campus. =P

oh well...I'm staying over at aunty Felicia's house first.dunwana go back so soon.duno do wad also.haha.

So here I am fbing as much as I can until I go over and suffer...ugghhh...really wanted to stay at Aunt felicia's over the weekend.She said she dun mind but i was really hoping I could.I hate to stay and socialize with the others.And yeah...y not stay over here during the weekends?wad wud I miss out anyway ya?stay here no nid worry abt food sum more.haha!n can study n slp all I want. =P OH!can HOT WATER! XD but the bad thing is I have to wash my clothes when I get back.epic fail...

the most craziest reason?WIFI! =D will plan my schedule.till then..tata! ^^

Cyber-bu//ying.

Watched the movie and loved it! U want spoilers?I got it here on this link! http://amileandtwostepsinmyshoes.blogspot.com/2011/07/cyber-bullying-is-wrongand-spoilers.html

This link above also has all the info on how u can stop them and what to do when u face this problem. =)

BUT!!! If u really don't wana know wad happen then watch the movie! It's really inspiring though. Many people have gone through this but afraid to say so. I stand on my grounds to say that it is the same as bullying physically.

I've been bullied too! But u don't see me hiding out on the dark or sth ya? Just say so when u r and don't let anyone ever pull you down from who u are!

and this is the part where I post really cool pictures about the movie. Ok...maybe not so cool but it's the real deal.

 The mum is helping her daughter in facing the digital drama.

 delete the MADNESS!

 ok...this guy...HOT!

 OK...I don't wanna spoil this so just go dload it if u really wana know wad happen.

 Aww~

for bullies who thinks u're not a bully...just watch this ok?

and everyone too!

It kinda makes u think about what you do and say to other people.

IT MATTERS okay??

Alrite...CIAO!

We must cherish at all times.

Felt really sad and wanted to just cry like a baby when I think about going back there. I felt like the walls are closing in. There is no one there I can count on to!

BUT WAIT!

When I sit here and think...all of a sudden...I thought about my friend, Carrie. I immediately click her name on the fb chat just to consult with her about my feelings. Of course, she gave me a handful of advise. I would have never to step out of that EMPTY AND LONELY HOLE if it wasn't for her. She got me to stand up for myself. The one thing she said that makes me surprise is,"think about this, u're way better than a lot of ppl.. Even in our group of friends.. They can be tough enough, why can't u?"

when I saw this, my eyes became watery. It's like what I wanted to look for but she found it and just gave it to me like that!Words aren't simple to say u know?It's not easy to give advise and confide in people. I'm really glad I found someone to tell me this. I'm really grateful to have met her, really. How could I ever not want a friend like this?I am so lucky and I don't even know it!

I just wana say...Thank you God!To have bless me and to know that I needed your blessings!Thank you very much!I believe in you!Forever and always! =)

From the first day of a story...

Was with my last blog when I open this new one. I believe in change and change must come sooner or later.

So this is my change today. I'm going to be a better person. No matter how hard it takes, I must try.

Whoever is reading this, thank you for coming to my blog and I hope I can inspire you with my life somehow. =)

Once again...have a great life and see you in the next post! ^^